Posted 20 hours ago

Meant to Be

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Excellent book for anyone thinking about adoption and asking themselves whether they are right for it. Our names were to be used at all times – we were Lisa and Chris, not ‘Mummy’ and ‘Daddy’ and we knew and respected this. It was just a bag, but I had really wanted to use it; filling it with nappies, wipes, a change of clothes, snacks and a book had brought me so much joy. Life can be unexpected; my plan was to be in a happy marriage with a biological child, and look how that turned out. I suddenly realised the amount of ‘stuff’ you need with a toddler and I didn’t want to be caught out by not having something crucial with me, especially as this would be the first time everybody had seen us together.

This book is about Lisa’s quest to be a mum and pretty much reflects my personal experience too ( just the surrogacy consideration was different).Luckily I got a miracle child with ivf but a friend has recently adopted and this has really helped me understand what she has been through too. She had seemed to settle so easily and didn’t seem at all disturbed by the fact that she was coming to stay with us, though I knew from the work we had done that it would all be in her head somewhere. The book really hit home that not all is lost if things don’t go to plan, there are other avenues and that is the most important piece of information I have taken away from this inspiring journey to motherhood. In a raw and inspiring story of one woman's journey through motherhood, family life and self-discovery, Lisa explores the many forms that family can take, and discovers the power of embracing your Plan B.

This was really just a meeting to see how we were all doing now that the care plan had been carried out and Billie was starting to settle in with us. When cookery author and TV presenter Lisa Faulkner learned that she wouldn’t have biological children, her plans and expectations for her life were derailed. All the experiences are so well written and I’ve found this to be a very therapeutic and uplifting book as I too parent plus.The things that I utterly relate to are that she always felt on the outside and that the grief never leaves you . She went through IVF three times with her former partner, suffered an ectopic pregnancy, investigated surrogacy and then decided to adopt after finding out she was infertile. After Lisa had an ectopic pregnancy, she tried many things after to conceive again but sadly she failed to get pregnant. I had made dinner, we had kept her safe, we hadn’t done anything to overstimulate her and she had very happily gone to bed, and more importantly to sleep.

Lisa takes you on an emotional journey of the challenges she and other couples have faced to become a parent. I didn’t need to worry, everyone had confidence in me – I had confidence in myself somewhere too, I just needed to find it.In hospital, we found out it was an ectopic pregnancy; it was in a fallopian tube, rather than the womb. As someone who has gone through 5 rounds of IVF and had two miscarriages, this book resonated deeply with me. I understood looking at her how important the routine must be and how vital it was that she had her familiar sheets and teddies around her. An easy listen and a rough guide/story to how some women might go through the process of making the decision to adopt. It seemed that as soon as my biological clock started ticking, it escalated to a disco beat pretty damn fast.

This is not a book for the faint hearted,I can relate to her story as I have been through the pain of conceiving as a parent.Billie ran around and happily entertained the whole room, used to being on display from such an early age. So here I would like to recommend this book no matter if you have children or not, or if you are having trouble falling pregnant you may find some suggestions in Lisa's book Meant to Be. Having experienced infertility before going on to have my own children, I felt a strong bond with Lisa and hope that others will be able to take comfort from her story. I do believe you are given what you need, although it might not be what you think you want at that time. I knew these small things were like a lighthouse to her in a stormy sea, making her feel as safe as she could and guiding her home.

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